Their concern was that the evidence of childhood sexual abuse within the Boy Scouts would make the organization ‘look bad”. Their concern was grossly misplaced. Instead of recognizing the betrayal of the children in their care for what it was, yet another organization chose to protect their reputation over the well being of children.
The Boy Scouts of America were recently forced to release thousands of files showing that they protected more than 5000 sexual abusers. As the details emerged, we all sat in horror realizing the enormous numbers of young people represented: children who were sexually abused under the watch of those whose job is supposed to include protecting our children.
The Catholic Church, Penn State, and now new evidence of the enormity of the Boy Scout cover-up. When will our society take a firm stand to stop this? When will we, as a country, begin to value the safety of our children over the reputations of our once-revered organizations?
The problem is two-fold. It begins with society’s traditionally blind respect for authority figures. We must pull off the blinders. It is time for everyone to realize that people who are sexually excited by children are known to seek out positions where they can interact with them. We rarely run sufficient background checks on these whom we permit to be in close contact with our children. We must allow this legitimate concern to occupy space in our collective psyche and stop blindly respecting those in positions of authority.
Likewise, it is time to stop teaching our children that same blind respect for those in positions of authority. Pederasts inhabit our homes, our schools, our churches and our extracurricular programs. Yet we are missing one of our greatest possible defenses against enabling those who would harm our youth: we must empower our children to say ‘no’ and to tell us when something untoward occurs. Children have great instincts: they know when something isn’t ‘right’. Studies show that children as young as 4 know the difference between ‘creepy’ adult touch and appropriate touch. Yet studies have also shown that only a quarter of youth who are sexually abused tell an adult within a year of the first occurrence.
Five years ago, we started a nonprofit to change this. The primary mission of JustTell is to empower youth to speak up if they are being sexually abused. But for this mission to succeed, adults must become willing to hear, and act on, what children say. For too long sexual abusers have kept our children quiet with phrases like ‘no one will believe you’. Teach our children otherwise. Teach them that if anyone does something to them that makes them uncomfortable, they can tell you and you will believe them and act on their disclosure. That is the only way we are going to stop this horrific epidemic.
Vivian Farmery, MSW
Founder and Director, JustTell
JustTell.org
